This Is A Livejournal.

This was top secret information. I wasn't going to breath a word to anyone until my acceptance/rejection letter came back. Well, except Michael, Graham, Alan, Kim, Angie, Sara, and Alissa. Obviously my notion of "top secret" is a little off.

Anyway, I'm not very good at keeping secrets (just my own - don't worry, I keep your secrets) so...

*deep breath*

I'm applying to the UNM School of Law. Now, before you ask,

"No."

That's the answer to almost every question anyone has asked me, including, but not limited to:
-Can you afford that?
-Do you really think that will work out?
-Do you think you can get in?

I'm trying to be realistic, but I can honestly say there is nothing I have ever wanted so desperately. So, I decided I was going to apply, told my husband, and we are taking it one baby step at a time.

The most recent baby step being, of course, the LSAT. I just got my score back and am bursting to tell everyone in the world.

161. Median score of people at UNM School of Law is 154. That score was in the 84th percentile. So now...I think I actually have a fairly decent chance of being admitted. My graduating GPA was the median exactly, and my LSAT score was above the median. Now I just need to fill out an application, give a letter of reference, write an essay (about me) and...apply. After that baby step comes all the stuff that I think will be the biggest hurdle to attending. I'm not going to think about that yet.

Oh, and because everyone is always super curious about this, criminal justice. I want to work in the DA's office.

I have a birth plan. It is a short birth plan. It is a mellow birth plan. It makes me feel like a hippy to have one, but at the same time is very reassuring. Curious? Here are the salient points:

-do NOT offer me pain medication during a contraction.
-ideally, I want to get through the whole birth without any kind of chemical pain management
-IV pain medication is ok for consideration, but I don't want an epidural.
-Michael and my Mom in the delivery room with me.
-no vistors or phone calls during labor
-Michael gets to cut the cord (he makes funny faces at the thought, but has decided that the experience would be a good thing)
-do NOT give my child a pacifier

and the rest is just me checking off things that are ok to do. Imagery is out - hot baths and massage are in.

We also went through what to do when the contractions start. I'm actually kind of looking forward to the first part of labor. It seems like it would be a really exciting time. I'm supposed to try and nap some, walk, or get on a fitness ball. Take a nice hot shower and try to relax. According to the midwife, the more relaxed I am, the easier it will be. Oh, and eat protein.

Then when the contractions are five minutes apart and/or a minute long, I call them and see if we go to the hospital. The hospital thing kind of unnerves me (I still wish I could have a home birth, but Michael is really against it), but I think with that much pain I won't do my usual faint-feeling thing with the IV. And from there the hospital people pretty much know what to do. After they do their thing, I get to meet my daughter externally (I'm really looking forward to that part).

I can't believe there's just over a month left!

I am slowly becoming obsessed. Okay, I'm always obsessed with something, but this time wins for silly obsessions. It has to do with obsession #3, which is just knitting in general (really, who's surprised?), but is very, very specific.

The thing I want more than anything else in the whole wide world is to make a baby sweater. But not just any baby sweater. This baby sweater would be a masterpiece. This baby sweater would be an heirloom piece, the baby sweater that gets photos and is spoken of in hushed tones. This baby sweater is the baby sweater to end all baby sweaters.

The name of my most ardent desire?

#1290 Rutelilje.

You can clickety click here and scroll down to May 29th to see it.

So what is stopping me? What could possibly get in the way of my opus?

Well, for starters, I need the damn pattern book. After that, I need yarn as I do not have the appropriate weights, colors or amounts. Virtually everything but the skill in my fingers....

Today marks the day that the big stuff for the baby is done. Valerie has somewhere to sleep (first three months and then after), a place to eat, a place to be changed and I have a breast pump. The breast pump is a big deal - ladies, if you are the breast feeding type, you will spend more time selecting a breast pump than anything else. Make sure that you talk with the lactation people, they are great at knowing what is good to get (some of the electric ones can actually damage your breasts).

So...72 days until baby.

You will read that and laugh, but I have made a few decisions. November 6th, 7 hours of natural labor, 6.5 lbs of healthy baby. If I just repeat it enough, it will be true. Don't even suggest otherwise.

done :)

My ladybug is sick and I cannot see her. This is really, really sad. Her dad gets to see her on Sunday, and I want to send something extra special with him for her.

So we are going to play a game called, "How fast can Issa bang out a pair of ladybug mittens?"


Starting...now.

Today was the last 2nd trimester appointment. Apparently, I have now managed to gain too much weight rather than too little (I hate this weight thing). But, by my calculations, I didn't. Watch:

10 lbs at 20 weeks.
1 lb a week every week after.
I am at 26 weeks.
10 + 6 = 16
pre-pregnancy weight of 126.
126 + 16 = 142.
My current weight: 141.

So I really don't understand why the "jump" would be classified as too much. I think I'm sick of worrying about it though. Anyone know how to gain a pound a week?

I spent the day with my buddy Graham, which was nice. He came with me to get my new travel system. I went with him to try on his dress (er...habit).



He just got back from Bolivia and brought me back yarn. 100% alpaca sport weight 1300 yds each of yellow, purple and this absolutely gorgeous mellow green.



The green is not balled and wrapped because he saw it, liked it especially and just bought it like that. Apparently I am very easy to shop for. Some of the purple is going to be made into a baby sweater. The green is going to find it's way into a sweater I've had my eye on for a while. The rest, I don't know.

I'm going to take the travel system out of its box tonight. That's nuts, isn't it? A stroller is clutter, I can't use it for over three months! What am I thinking?

I am knitting my baby a blanket. It is the optart blanket from knitty, and I love it. I had originally planned to make the larger size and ordered yarn accordingly.

The yarn is from knitpicks, so the only place to buy it is knitpicks.com. Now....

I have known for a couple of days that I don't have enough yarn. I though that maybe I was being a little neurotic, so I decided to let it go until I knew for sure. Well. Now I know for sure that there is not enough. I'm going to need roughly two balls more of each color. Fine. I plan to whip out my card today and get it here right as I'm running out.

Not fine. One of the colors is not going to be available again until the middle of October. Factor in shipping and knitting time and the blanket will be done middle of November. For those of you not keeping track, I'm due in early November.

So. My options.

-Make the smaller size blanket.
-Accept that the blanket won't be done in time for the baby and make the bigger one.

There are other options involving changing colors and what not, but it would ruin the blanket.

I'm leaning towards the smaller blanket. To be off by that much implies that there is something up with my gauge, right? So it will probably have roughly the same square footage as the larger one. I really, really, really wanted the blanket done in time for the baby, and a disappointed pregnant woman is not pretty. Additionally, the parts left after I run out of yarn are very time consuming and boring. It is the home stretch of the blanket with no momentum.

But...I feel like I'm copping out. I wanted a bigger blanket so it would be useful longer. 4'x4' is useful for years. 3'x3' is less so.

So...anyone want to vote?

I should have suspected it when I wanted to name my daughter "Temperance". Evidence that I am a Puritan.

I promised myself that I was going to sleep in today. I did not.

I decided that instead of cleaning myself to exhaustion, I would just relax. I don't know who I though would sweep/vacuum/wipe/dust - but that's beside the point. I am relaxing.

Instead of reading a book, or going for a walk, or wasting time on the internet, I relaxed by doing this:



That is painting curlicues in the arch in the girls' room for the "fairy forest" nursery. I don't know how adept you are at home decorating, but stencils are not my forte (if you like the arch, I would suggest forgetting it exists - it is not really worth the pain). I was going to shoot for all-the-way-done, but realized how tired I was making myself and decided that more-than-half was good enough.

So I decided to do my favorite thing in the world.



I watched Bones until TNT cut me off and knit on the baby blanket. This made me very happy - although, it is very a puritan form of recreation (except when I shout at the screen for Booth and Bones to just give it up and declare undying love already, I'm pretty sure Puritans frown on that).

Then I studied for the secret thing (the secret thing shall remain a secret because I don't really want to humiliate myself more than necessary).

All in all, I had my hands busy doing something for the entirety of the day. On my relaxing day.

Now, if you will excuse me, I'm going to go find another TV show and knit more.

I fell in love with a book at Costco a couple of weeks ago. It's this workbook for PreSchoolers. I paged through it, thought that even though it said 3-5, it might be a little advanced for my particular munchkin. I put it down.

Then, this week, I was back at the store with my mom and we saw the same book. She offered to get it for munchkin and I decided to give it shot. We started today with the letter A. What does it look like? What sound does it make? How do we write A?

I made a huge deal about the "learning book" and we set aside special "learning time" after breakfast before church. I got out the Crayola Washable Markers and we picked the "learning color". She opted for blue.

I tried to show her how to hold it for writing - that's HARD. It's such a natural position for adult hands, teaching little ones is a little difficult. Every time she let go, she needed help re-adjusting.

We started tracing one. It went a little bad. She had a little trouble seeing exactly what she needed to do. So we chucked the marker for a minute and traced the big A at the top of the page with our fingers. Then we finished the row of tracing. Better....

The book comes with a wipe off page. We did A after A on the wipe off page:



Then we did a "live run" on the actual paper. She did a couple okay, started to get tired. So we were going to do one more, the *BEST* one - the A to end all A's.



I would like you to notice that last one. She did that one all by herself. Completely alone. After about 15 minutes of practice. Isn't that INCREDIBLE?

We are a sleepy family today.

The munchkin had a cold last week and it seems to have left her with just a little bit of a cough. A kid with a cough in the middle of the night sucks. It keeps her up. It keeps you up. It keeps your husband up.

You contemplate ways to stop coughing. Humidifier? Might work, but you have no idea how to set it up. Cough suppressant? No, they don't work and taste awful. Well, there was the one that worked, but as that was a narcotic, it is also out of the question. Another glass of water? Honey? Each thought gets discarded and you feel more and more foolish. What did mom do? Why can't I remember what mom did?! She...

Then you feel like a moron when husband remembers that there is vapor rub in the medicine cabinet and you all sleep peacefully for the next five hours.

So, M and I are pretty bushed. Kiddo is a little...mean. We talked about it and she sweetened right up to her usual self - but I don't think I've had so many raspberries blown at me in a single day. Ever.

Oh. And, to her father's delight, she can now explain to you the mechanics of punching.

Here's a quick photo update. I don't really feel like writing much lately, but hopefully that will change soon.

Anyway, some pregnancy photos for you:








I know, the picture of my belly is not done in a flattering manner, but it is fun anyway. Judge not please.

That last pic of Valerie is my favorite - she almost looks like a baby there instead of an alien.

I bought a camera. I used some of my tax refund to grab a canon sd 1100 is (taking Nida's advice). They just came out with the 1200 so I was able to get a whole kit fairly cheaply online. Now, sadly, I have to wait until Monday to play with my new toy.

Monday to hear baby's heartbeat. Monday to be able to take pictures again.

*sigh*

I am sooooo frustrated right now. I want to knit more than anything in the world, but everytime I glance at yarn or needles, my hands start aching. After the whole "Mom's birthday socks in one night" thing they never recovered.

So. I want to knit, but can't.

This makes me sad.

So I love watching the Susan Boyle clip. Have you seen it yet? The very first one from Britain's Got Talent. I love it because there's this whole intro where she's a little...off color. There's shots of the audience rolling their eyes. One in particular is this pretty teenage girl who just looks beyond disgusted that all the ugly people have not been culled.

Which sounds really judgmental of me, so I suppose I will admit to raising my eyebrows during the "hip thing".

Then...

She starts singing and it's so incredibly beautiful. She has one of the most amazing voices I've ever heard. For a few seconds you can just all the audience in complete shock - how could...?

On of the things I've read on it says something about how we live in a very "image managed" world. I think I hate that. I am so excited that this completely ordinary-looking woman has shown everyone that anyone can be extraordinary.

And I totally want to cry when I watch it. For some reason, I like that lot.

So...if you have no idea what I'm talking about (I have no idea how), then please go to you tube and just do a quick search.

Nuts. That's what I've gone. Pecans. Like the ones on my sticky bun. Although, I also have a banana, so I suppose we could say I've gone bananas.

I'm sick of hating the house. Yes, I hate it. I hate the stupid leaky rough, the crack in the foundation, the fact that I didn't really get to choose any of it. It's kind of un-empowering, moving in with someone. You have to squeeze all your stuff in around all their stuff and it never really feels integrated or homey. Add that to the fact that I've always pretty much chosen my homes, and have always have good points to them:
-Redondo; lots of fun people my age, not decorated nice, but I loved the loft bed.
-Harvard House; I think I lived there longer than anywhere else. Very pretty ivy. Large for one person. It always felt like *mine*, which was probably it's biggest point in it's favor.
-Lacoya: pretty courtyard, good smells.
-The Mission Style Studio: Nice floors, cleaned up nicely.

...and now, some place that I didn't pick at all, aside from picking Michael. So anyway, I'm sick of hating it. I think the main source of my hatred is the clutter, so I'm going to kill the clutter. I am going to make this place a home whether it wants it or not. Things will be filed, shredded, found a home for, or disposed of. If my digital camera stops eating a battery every 10 seconds, there will be photos.

Speaking of which, anyone have any reccomendations for a decent digital camera? Not very expensive, that's important, but good?

I'm in a weird mood today. Kind of mopey and introverted. Not really moping though - at least there's no focus to my listlessness. I kind of want to paint, but don't have any turpentine and have no idea what I would paint right now anyway. And doesn't turpentine sound like something you shouldn't mess with while pregnant? I do have some watercolors and a canvas supposedly good for "all mediums" but the water colors are the cheap kind you buy for children and I have no idea how to use watercolors anyway.


I know I have a whole ton of drawing materials, but then...

I just have no idea what I want to draw.

I guess that means Waterhouse.

Week nine of the pregnancy starts Monday. At this point I'm pretty much just counting down until the end of the first trimester. Everyone says the second is the easiest. I just want to show already. I think showing is like the colors of tree frogs.

I've gone insane, beware.

It makes cognitive behavorial therapy kind of hard - I have no idea which emotions are caused by the OCD, which are caused by the horomones and which are perfectly normal reactions to perfectly normal situations. Cap that off with exhaustion and we are going nowhere fast.

I'm becoming obsessed with booties. I don't use the word "obsessed" lightly either. All I want are millions of booties for my baby. Mom stopped at the bookstore and got me a book that is just little things for baby feet. I am going to make every single thing in it, not even kidding. And to make sure Jordan feels the love too, all the patterns that are for babies - toddlers will be made for her.

I am going to whine for a moment.

I am frustrated, angry and cranky. I am too tired to get anything done. Everyday, I get home from work and want to be in bed by seven. Somedays I fall asleep right away and others I fight it for a while, but it doesn't do me much good. I am frustrated by all the clutter in the house. I am angry because I can't get rid of it. I am cranky because I want to spend most of my day in bed, but I cannot.

Then, just to make me worry, I'm getting dizzy spells. Twice today I've gotten up from my desk and almost face planted forward, the world spinning around me. I checked and it's not a very uncommon thing in early pregnancy. I just need to make sure I'm eating enough (I am) and getting enough fluids (I am). Blood pressure drops and makes for uncomfortable times.

Baby is the size of raspberry now, or something else that is about the size of a raspberry, but not as delicious. Baby also (according to the book) looks less like an alien now. Which is good. I don't want to give birth to an alien.

One more month and I'll be in the second trimester. I can't wait. I'll be ballooning up, but at least the morning sickness and sleepiness will be gone.

-Nutrigrain Bars - blackberry or raspberry. Maybe blueberry.
-Mac and Cheese - white chedder prefered.
-Strawberry yogurt with granola.
-Toasted wheat cereal(generic wheat chex).
-Grilled cheese - wheat bread, kraft american.


This is actually a pretty exhaustive list. Sad, right? It's so specific.

Midday I might feel like mixing things up - eating something off the list, but it's iffy and it's all pretty boring, things like a bean burrito or a sandwich from subway.

Yay for fussy eating. At least it's all fairly good for you stuff.